It is important to know that your emotions and feelings matter. Have you been curious to know how to control emotions and feelings? Then you will do well to keep your eyes glued to the screen. The answers to your questions are here, right in this post.
May I let you know that controlling your emotions answers to discipline, not magic? If you must have your emotion under control, then you must be willing to exert the force of discipline over yourself. Nobody can watch over you enough like yourself, you are the best watchman in your life. If you cannot be intentional, your emotion will control you.
The discipline I’m talking about here is the ability to do the right thing even when it is the most difficult. The determination to stay under control even when your hormones are demanding something different. I’m certain you are ready for this intentional life as I take you further.
Controlling emotions and feelings has been a major problem of the day. We want to express what we feel, not considering the consequences that follow. Truthfully, it is not an offense to express one’s emotions, but it is wiser to control them than to express them rashly.
In this content, you will not only learn how to control your emotions and feelings but also gain dominion over your emotions if you will apply the principles that this content suggests.
Emotions refer to an individual’s inward state of being, feelings, and response to a thing, person, or situation. How can you control your emotions and feelings? The answer is not far-fetched.
Many people, when asked questions on emotions and feelings, think their answers must be deep and complicated. It doesn’t have to! You will be surprised that it is easier than you think to control your emotions and feelings. The ability to control emotions and feelings has been given to everyone. So, whether you are ruled by your emotions or you rule your emotions depends on you.
How to Control Feelings for Someone
Having feelings for the opposite gender is as normal as feeling hungry. Hey! You don’t chide yourself for feeling hungry, do you? So, having feelings for someone shouldn’t make you feel unhappy with yourself.
However, whoever knows how to control feelings for someone has got great virtue. You’re not always eating because you feel like it. There are times you get intentional about not eating for some time, for your own good. In the same way, you can choose to control your feelings for others even though they are not something bad.
Let’s get this cleared. Controlling feelings for a person is not always the same as avoiding loving such a person. You may simply want to keep your feelings in check, lest they get out of hand. I emphasize the fact that it is important to know how to control emotions and feelings.
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If you want to be respected and valued by the person you love, then learn to regulate your feelings for them. Here are a few tips on how to control your feelings for someone.
Don’t Be Always Present
Truly, being present with him/her is one of the greatest ways to show that you love a person. However, you should not always be present. Researchers have proven that human beings tend to value people they see less often than people they see always.
It’s psychologically normal. Maintaining your value and respect should be one of your greatest aims in any relationship, and it should make you put a check on your emotions. Let there always be a time when the person you love will have to confess that he/she misses you.
You do not miss someone that’s never out of sight. Do you? So, learn to be out of sight at times. You are not to ignore your loved one as that may smother his/her love for you. Only make yourself unavailable sometimes, and let him/her miss you. It helps both you and your relationship. Remember that the regulation of your feelings is the protection of your respect.
Be confident around him/her
You can easily tell that someone has feelings for you only by looking at how they conduct themselves around you. It is quite easy for one to get kind of shaky and uncomfortable around the person you have feelings for. It’s not strange. But you can be different.
Don’t talk too much around the person you have feelings for and don’t be too silent. Don’t be too calm and don’t be jumpy. Be all normal. Be real and confident. It makes you feel good and highly esteemed. Speak calmly and look into his/her eyes as you do.
Make yourself comfortable as you converse with him/her, and make the other person comfortable as well. Don’t be all over him/her. Let the other person enjoy your company as much as you seek to enjoy theirs. Always be confident and never lose your balance.
Express your emotions
This may sound like the last thing you can ever think of in the world, but it’s just one of the best-proven ways to control your emotions and feelings. Express your emotions to the other person. But, hey! Don’t be dramatic about it.
Do it with all sincerity and calmness. Do not speak words like, ‘if you say no, I’m going to hurt myself !’ They make you look pretty and sound desperate. You know what your feelings are towards that person. Speak it out, just the way to feel it. And let the other person choose to accept or decline your feelings.
You’ll realize that after confessing your feelings to the other party, you feel some great degree of ease within you. You become more comfortable than before and your emotions are to a great degree regulated.
Be prepared to get a NO and move on
Sounds negative, right? But it makes great sense (smiles). Bearing in mind, from the beginning of things, that you may never get a YES helps to regulate your emotions. You will never raise your hopes about eating grandma’s rice when you know she doesn’t share it.
In the same way, you may never have uncontrollable feelings for someone you have always made yourself believe may never give you a YES. You know that not everyone will reciprocate your feelings for them. You may well count the person you have feelings for as one of them. That way, you gain when you receive a yes, and at the same time are not badly hurt when you receive a no, because you have prepared yourself for it emotionally. This is a weird idea, but it works.
Meditate on your feelings
Meditating on your feelings helps you get a very clear picture of them. While meditating on your feelings, refuse to lie to yourself. Tell yourself the complete truth. When you meditate on your feelings for someone and get a clear picture of what it really is, you are able to have more control over it. Yes, that way, you are able to lord over it, and it’s not the other way round.
Entertain the right Thoughts
Whatever your mind is always filled with constantly will some days be expressed in a practical sense. Each you notice that funny thoughts have filled your mind, I think it’s important you strive to decongest your mind of it.
This is possible if only you can exercise control over your mind and force it to think about another thing. You need to learn to fill your mind with other thoughts or else you will see the one you have expressed. Be in charge of what happens in your inward environment, that’s where your life springs from.
Get busy with valuable things
Just the same way an idle hand is the devil’s workshop so is an idle mind. You hardly have time to entertain funny feelings for someone when you are really busy. Getting busy with the right thing will place you under an automated discipline.
Do away with things or conversations that arouse you. If you are talking about something regularly, you will later do it someday. If you don’t want to do it, don’t talk about it at all. Actions are initiated by words. Learn to turn down any discussion around what you don’t want to do.
Avoid late-night phone conversation
When you talk into the heart of the night, emotions are naturally activated. Learn to say good night on time and go to bed. Talking to somebody you have feelings for while lying on the bed will make you think of having the person beside you and that’s where it begins.
When a conversation is unnecessarily long, funny feelings are inevitable. Let go of the person even when the conversation is getting sweeter. Play safe!
Hang up the call
You need to learn to hang up the call when the conversation is no longer purposeful: It’s important to learn how to maintain a purpose-driven conversation. Talk about something meaningful and stay within it. Don’t be too random in your discussion, have topics you talk about. This will help you stay within boundaries and not go weird.
Don’t go there
Do not hang out with the opposite gender behind a closed door If you get behind a closed door, you are creating room for your feelings. If you must hang out at all, do it in an open space where both of you cannot be silly. Smiles!
Take a break
If you have applied all aforementioned above and you still can’t control yourself, you may consider taking a break from each other. This helps you starve your feelings swiftly. When you are whole, you can come back.
Marriage is a legitimate platform to express feelings and emotions. Doing this within the ambiance of marriage is inconsequential. Get settled and you will be settled! Smiles!
How to Control Emotions in Love
Love is sweet, and it makes life worth living. It is simply an essential thing in life. When we are in love, other things seem to be okay, and all our problems seem to be non-existent. But even then, it is necessary to know how to control emotions in love. Emotions are meant to be expressed, but how emotions are expressed matters a lot.
Many love stories end abruptly badly because the persons involved do not know how to control his/her emotions and feelings. The love they have for each other is real, but not being able to understand and control emotions has ended the ‘so sweet love journey’. Yours doesn’t have to be like that. Emotions, if not well controlled can ruin promising relationships. Below are some simple ways to control emotions while in love.
Find out what your feelings are
There are times that you get emotional, and don’t know what exactly you’re feeling. It will be very good of you to calm yourself down and identify what you are feeling. Knowing your feelings goes a long way in controlling your emotions. You cannot control what you don’t know.
You need to identify first what you are feeling before you can do anything else. Identifying your feelings can be done through reflection and meditation. Put yourself in a position that allows you to think, and reflect on your actions and feelings. Focus on identifying what you feel.
At times, you feel like ignoring certain thoughts. Yeah, it happens. But it is always better to bring yourself to think about those things, no matter how awkward they seem. Know how they affect your feelings, then move to the next point.
Ask yourself questions
Most times, you do not get a clear picture of what you are feeling until you ask yourself questions, and of course, the questions must be relevant. Make a deliberate attempt to ask yourself questions that you must answer.
Questions such as: ‘how do I feel?, ‘what do I seek to achieve with my feelings?’, ‘why should I feel this way?’, ‘are my feelings actually right?’, ‘what effects will my feelings produce?’ these questions are important if you really want to control your emotions.
Asking yourself questions helps you to settle down in some unusual way, and realize what you probably have not realized before. At times, you feel you’re right until you ask yourself these questions and find out that you’re not. Take time to ask yourself questions. It is as important as every other thing you have to do.
Give each other some space
People in love enjoy being together. Yes, it’s normal and expected. But there are always times when either or both parties feel overwhelmed with emotions. One of the best things to do is to give each other some space. Yeah! Some space to relax, meditate, to get over things.
There are times your partner just wants to keep quiet and say nothing. Times like that exist. Now, it’s your responsibility to make sure that you’re not sticking to your partner when you actually should give some space. Usually, coming back together after giving each other space fosters more understanding, clarity, and intimacy.
It’s not always sweet (smiles), but it works. Research has shown that men tend to recover from the emotional drain when they spend time alone, even away from their loved ones. Funny, right? That’s simply how they are wired!
Women do need some space when they’re depressed. She’s probably gonna tell you what’s wrong with her. But many times, it is after she has had some time alone, clearing her head. It’s normal to give your partner some space or want to have some space for yourself. It helps control your emotions.
Talk to your partner
At times, the cure to your deep and overwhelming emotions is a chat with your partner. Wow, right? Many times, certain emotions are a result of certain thought patterns. More than often, we misunderstand our partners and think they think or mean what they actually do not.
It’s great wisdom to get yourself to sit with your partner and talk about it. In discussing, you get to know where you got things wrong and what exactly was intended. For instance, your partner had an issue with his boss and so he has a hard time talking about anything pertaining to his work.
You think he’s being strange, not wanting to talk to you about his work, while he feels troubled having to think about work. Now, you may never understand him until you get to talk to him about the whole matter. You feel left out and ignored while he feels something entirely different. Find a conducive environment and talk about whatever is posing a threat to your emotions. This way, you can help your emotions, even while in love.
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How to Avoid Love Feelings
As essential as love is, there are always times when we have to keep from it. There are times you feel or even know that you’re in love with the wrong person, and you just need to know how to avoid love feelings for such a person. Yeah, those feelings come strong on you but they can actually be avoided. You wonder if that is possible. Follow through this article to find out how you can accomplish this.
You can always fall in love, it’s no problem. But you can as well refrain from it if it’s just not the right thing for the moment or it’s not with the right person. Hey, it sucks but you can always get over it.
Think about the person’s weaknesses
It is hard for a person in love to see anything bad in the person he/she loves. All the person sees is a beautiful and perfect personality, maybe not even human but an angel(smiles).
As a person seeking to avoid love feelings for someone, you should stop fantasizing about their perfection. Take time to think about their weaknesses as well. No human exists who doesn’t have shortcomings. Seek to know these things. Yes, find them out and let them distract you from having feelings for the person.
The same way you can choose to see a person as perfect is the same way you can choose to see him/her as imperfect. If all you choose to focus on is what you deem good, then you may never be able to avoid loving that person. Do not envy him, do not hate him, do not refuse to appreciate what is good about him. Only seek to acknowledge and be conscious of the fact that he/she also is imperfect.
Don’t think too much about him/her
It is easier for you to love someone who’s always on your mind. Keeping him/ her in mind is keeping him/her in your life. If you’ll avoid loving him, then you must avoid filling your heart with him. How can you achieve this?
Do what you love doing
Doing what you love doing is a great way of distracting yourself from thinking about anyone. Spend time doing what always makes you feel good. Keep a journal, make friends, go to parties, sing, dance, and scream. Whatever you think makes you feel good about yourself, go for it!
Think more about yourself
In case you didn’t know, you’re special and beautiful. You have a destiny, a purpose to fulfill. Generations are looking up to you, waiting for the impacts you’ll make. So, instead of spending your time hurting yourself, think about your life, about your future.
Take time to explore your inner beauty and treasures. You’re more than you know and you can always discover yourself. Do it now! Focus instead on yourself and make yourself better.
Spend less time with the person
Spending time with the person you want to avoid loving is in every way similar to adding oil to fire. Instead of spending time with the person, hang out with friends. You can as well spend time alone, meditating, or relaxing in any way you consider best.
Also, limit conversation with him/her. These will help you to withdraw emotionally from the person. Enjoy yourself living without him/her. Do things on your own. Find joy in everything you do, whether or not he/she is involved. Let your existence be enough reason to enjoy life and living.
Majorly, I would say that you can avoid loving someone when you make up your mind and do all you can. Get him/her off your mind, limit contact with the person, and enjoy being with yourself.
How to Control Negative Emotions
Being humans, there are always seasons when we feel down and very unhappy. Times when we don’t want to get off the bed, you don’t want the car to stop moving, you don’t want the kids to return from school. Funny, right? Negative emotions well up within us and the world seem like a dark desert.
At times like this, it is crucial to know how to control negative emotions.
Negative emotions like wildfire can destroy anything. They destroy your day, your visions, and if not properly taken care of, your life. Why not deal with these emotions lest they deal with you?
Recognize that you’re important
Many people will not be overwhelmed with negative emotions if only they knew that they are important. Knowing that you’re important alone will help you ward off negative emotions.
One of the many ways to recognize that you’re important is to build your self-esteem. As important as people’s opinions about you could be, know that they could be destructive as well. Refuse to seek validation from others.
Asking people about their views of you is not a bad idea. But there will always be people who want to bring you down with their words. Never let anyone talk you down.
Carefully consider their opinions about you, make use of the helpful ones, and discard whichever is false or you perceive to be pulling you down. Also, surround yourself with people who know your value, and people who appreciate you and take you for who you really are. That way, negative emotions, though they come, will not last.
Did you know that negative emotions can also be the mind’s way of responding to stress? Many times, you feel depressed and very touchy because you have been stressed. Now, since the cause is stress, the solution could as well be rest.
Take out some time to relax. It might be to go to the spa, visit your best restaurant, chat with a friend, sleep, or go to the beach. Rest is one of the greatest antidotes for emotional stress. Never forget to always set aside some time to get yourself some rest and ease yourself from the day’s or week’s stress.
Make positive confessions
I will start by saying that you are what you confess. If you confess defeat, then you are already defeated, and if you confess victory, you are already victorious. Whenever negative thoughts and emotions hit you, combat them with positive words.
At times, you feel like ‘what a loser I am!’ Instead of confirming that with your mouth, say, ‘I am more than victorious’. Instead of confessing hate, tell yourself how loved you are, if by nobody, by God! Develop confessions that combat and overcome negative emotions.
Confess with faith. It works! Pray to God and confess that you believe your prayers are answered. Never confess negativity! Always speak the opposite of your negative emotions. How do you do this? Settle down and identify your negative emotions. Then, come up with positive confessions that come in that line. Negative emotions cannot stand consistent positive confessions.
For many people, negative emotions are mainly caused by a sense of self-hate. You do not have to hate yourself. If you do not love yourself, no one else will. Even if they do, it will make no difference as you will never see it. Develop a habit of self-love. Do good things that make you feel good.
Make yourself a sweetheart because you really are. Wear what makes you feel confident, use nice body spray, and put your make-up on. Be smart! Be beautiful! Never allow yourself to be depressed. Always say no whenever depression seeks your permission to come in. Never allow it! Love yourself, and let yourself know that you love yourself. You deserve it!
Always create an atmosphere of Joy
Negative emotions are quite forceful in nature. They want to intrude on everything you do. They want to steal your appetite, your smile, and everything they can possibly steal. But never allow them!
Always create an atmosphere of joy. Read books, if that is what makes you happy. Listen to music, and surround yourself with lively people. Always think of what makes you smile. Guard your joy!
People try to believe that God has His own place and should not be involved in everything. That’s not true. There is always some special peace that comes from trusting God. Everything seems alright and you feel light because you do not bear your own burden, but He does in your stead. Trust God and take Him for His words. He never fails!
Those are great tips for controlling negative emotions. Use them well!
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Issues concerning emotions are issues concerning everyone because everyone has emotions. Emotions are precious and are meant to be under your control. They have to be expressed, guarded, as well as controlled. But, it takes knowledge to control emotions and feelings. And this is exactly why this writing is available to everyone who needs it.
I believe this write-up has been helpful in one way or the other to you. I hope I shook your table and you got helpful ideas.
Dear reader, do well to control your emotions and feelings so that they do not control you. A friend or relative might need this article, kindly share it with them. If this article has been helpful to you in any way, kindly drop your comments in the comments section below.