Why Do I Have Trust Issues in Relationship or Marriage? 10 Diagnostic Tips to Solving All Trust Issues
Trust is one of the most important traits a person can cultivate. Trust is not a gift, it is often earned by deliberately doing good and proving yourself a person of integrity. When trust is lost in a relationship or marriage, then everything is lost.
Everyone who has found a relationship or marriage ought to do everything possible to protect it and make it work. One of the ways to do this is by ensuring there is no trust issue in any way. Trust is better kept than lost. Trust once lost, is difficult to be regained or can never be regained. Therefore, do everything possible to keep your trust intact.
Loss of trust ends with heartbreak and disappointment. Many people complain about being betrayed by untoward people which causes indelible pain to the victims of trust issues. Then, they resist the idea of trusting anyone again. Before you ask yourself “Why do I have trust issues?” you need to understand the true meaning of trust.
Trust is the belief that somebody is good, sincere, honest, or, has integrity, etc., and will not try to harm or trick you. Now, do you think everyone is good? Or sincere? Or honest? Or will not harm/trick you? The belief no one is trustworthy or someone is dishonest depicts trust issues. This article will educate you on what you may not have known about trust issues vis-à-vis “Why do I have trust issues?”
Apart from the fact that trust issues deal with insincerity and fear of being harmed or tricked, trust issues mostly occur in relationships such as friends, lovers, family, colleagues, etc. of which the disadvantages are more than its advantages, or better to say, it has no advantage at all. This is one of the reasons you need to know “Why do you have trust issues?” And, this article will enlighten you on how to fight against trust issues or prevent you from encountering them.
Read with tenderness, happiness, and faithfulness and it will brighten up your face and leave you with no worries. It is indeed beneficial to you and many others in voluminous ways.
Trust Issues Meaning And Definition
We aren’t only focusing on trust but also on the problems one can find in trust. Every concept has its development which mostly begins with a definition. Moreover, we can’t be talking just about trust issues without providing its meaning and definition for better understanding.
Do you really know what is trust issues? Are you aware that trust issues have their characteristics embedded in the meaning? Therefore, you will be introduced to several meanings of trust issues and explanations that would enlighten you more. The definitions would also give you the confidence to educate people that find themselves in the situation of trust issues.
#1. The trust issue is the fear of betrayal, abandonment, or manipulation by a second party. Many people have experienced disheartening occurrences, either in the past or in the present, which instill the grief of being deceived or manipulated again. Therefore, their experiences become an impasse to trust anyone else. This gives the reason for the existence of trust issues among us.
#2. A trust issue is the absence of sincerity and honesty in a relationship. It means a lot to be sincere and honest with someone. For one to be trustworthy, one has to sacrifice for one’s partner and be disciplined. Trust also requires truthfulness in all ramifications and sincerity in words and actions. When one is unable to be sincere and honest with someone, it means such a person has trust issues.
#3. A trust issue is the lack of liability on one’s character, words, highfalutin, or action. When one finds it hard to trust or rely on someone or something, it is called a trust issue. Many a person hardly believes in whatever people say or do; for instance, when a person passes information about an event, the skepticism about the information is referred to as trust issues.
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Trust Issues In a Relationship
A trust issue is one of the major causes of an unhappy relationship. A relationship without trust and love is like an empty vessel. And, these have affected many relationships in so many ways. This is because talks and actions would be done with skepticism, judgment, and fear between or among individuals.
For one to have a healthy relationship, one has to avoid trust issues. Therefore, methods of preventing trust issues in a relationship are listed and explained for a happy and healthy relationship. Is the problem all about communication? Or a previous relationship? Or a current partner? The partner doesn’t need to be a lover; it may be a friend, a colleague, or a family member. So, read on to know more about the causes and preventions of trust issues in a relationship.
#4. Monitoring Your Partner
Many people monitor their partners because of trust issues. It may be done by checking the personal and normal activities or information on their phones, acknowledging people monitoring them, or stalking them. It is judicious to believe that one’s partner is not trustworthy depending on the vague action of rejection in one.
Those actions, therefore, prompt one to monitor one’s partner. Nevertheless, it is unnecessary if there’s concrete trust between both partners. This is also one of the methods of knowing if one has trust issues.
#5. Being Secretive
When there are trust issues in a relationship, one of the lovers would be secretive because of the fear of the other partner’s intention. For instance, a lady got a credit alert of two million dollars, and she doesn’t know who sent the money to her account. Instead of her telling her husband, she would keep it a secret because she doesn’t know if her husband would leak the secret or keep it between each others.
She built a house and bought a new car with the money. After some months, her husband found out about her achievements and claimed that his wife was cheating on him and that she hid such a thing from him. The quarrel led to divorce and the loss of a child. Trust issues lead to disappointment, heartbreak, and fear, which may be unnecessary especially when the person is very close to you.
When it comes to a marital relationship, there should be no secret or undiscussed victories. If you win a major trophy somewhere, divulge it to your spouse and rejoice together. Do not engage in anything that your spouse will need to find out elsewhere. Tell him/her before he/she is told by a third party. Issues are inevitable when your spouse finds out about untold stories.
A marital relationship is about making everything bare in the face of your spouse, do not have a secret that you cannot discuss whether ugly or beautiful.
#6. Comparing Your Current Partner To Your Previous One
Most people have been heartbroken or disappointed as regards the intense trust they have in people. This distrust becomes a lesson to them to the extent that it gives those kinds of people the instinct that everyone is the same. Therefore, they compare the new people they meet with the untrustworthy people that they have met.
Always let your past be your past, and do not transport the past into the present or future, it is not always healthy for a relationship that will stand the test of time. If you do not consciously or deliberately detach yourself from the past, the past can harm the present and hamper the future.
It might take a little while to erase the memory of your past relationship but you’ve got to wipe it at whatever cost. Some of these memories may either be sweet or bitter, whichever one, just erase them.
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Why Do I Have Trust Issues For No Reason?
Almost everyone asks this question: “why do they have trust issues for no reason”. Trust issues are most times, practiced by humans through the mindset or psychology. One must have believed in, seen, experienced, or heard about it which involuntarily moves one into such acts.
Apart from that, most people do things unconsciously until someone else informs them about their deeds or about the effects of their actions. There are reasons for one to have trust issues. It only depends on if the person knows he or she has trust issues or not. Therefore, this article will answer your question.
#7. Fear-Based on Assumption
Even from the definitions of trust issues listed above, it seems normal to be fearful of many things; but it sounds anomalous when the fear comes from assumption. It is not surprising that a lot of people today rely on what they hear rather than experience. Many are controlled by words and unseen actions which result in trust issues.
#8. Inability to Trust Yourself
As human beings, we know ourselves. We know our flaws and strengths. Most of us can easily identify our problems, yet we neglect them because of our desires. This also applies to trust issues. When someone can’t even trust oneself, how do you expect the person to trust another person?
It simply means that you must have the ability to trust yourself before you can trust someone else. Believe in and give yourself the trust and love you deserve; then, you will be able to share your love and trust with someone else.
#9. Inability to Forget Your Past
It’s one thing to be sinful, it’s another thing to be penitent and forgetful. You might have been offended or might have sinned in one way or the other; but would you prefer to keep grudges in your heart? Unforgiveness is not a way to punish an offender; it brings only discomfort to whoever was offended.
If you have a hortatory spirit of forgiveness to yourself and the offender, you won’t have any trust issues. The past brings only sorrow to one’s heart, while the present and future bring hope and light. So, don’t let your past be an inveterate problem which leads to trust issues as you meet new people every time.
Is Trust Issues A Mental Illness?
Normally, research has been made about the causes of trust issues and these causes vary in different ways to humans. Yet, people still contemplate the origin of trust issues. Trust issues may be referred to as a mental illness or not, depending on an individual. But the fact is that the trust issue is not a mental illness.
However, trust issues lead to negative actions and thoughts, as well as unhealthy responses. Such as:
• Depression
• Stress
• Fear
• Death
• Jealousy
• Evil deeds
These could be seen as the output or effect of having trust issues. (Take note of the definitions of trust issues explained earlier.) Besides, mental illnesses are depression, frustration, mood disorder, mental disorder, etc. and they are dealt mostly with mental health, unlike trust issues which deal mostly with attitude than health.
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How To Help Someone With Trust Issues
Most people in this world have trust issues. They may be your relatives or friends or any familiar ones. So, now that you are cognizant of trust issues, how can you help someone with trust issues? It is very important to know how to help someone with trust issues.
Obviously, many people with trust issues feel unhappy about the effects they get from having trust issues, and they pray to desist from trust issues so that they can have a peaceful mind. Remember, when you make someone smile, people will also make you extremely happy.
#10. Approach Them with Honesty
You need to approach them with honesty. Ask them the reasons for their actions. They need support and companionship; let them know you care about them and that you’re willing to do whatever will make them happy. Always talk to them with respect, love, and care; then they would believe that everyone is not the same.
#11. Don’t be Secretive
If you truly want to help someone with trust issues, you should not be secretive. Be open-minded with the person and avoid whatever will make such a person doubt you, not even for a second. You have to prove to the person that you are worth being trusted.
#12. Be Straightforward
Of course! It is important for you to be straightforward with someone who has trust issues. Straightforwardness does not mean to be “straight” and “forward”, rather it means to be open-minded, honest, and easy to deal with. So, you have to be a straightforward person if you indeed want to help someone with trust issues.
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Do I Have Trust Issues Quiz
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QUIZ
1. Your partner goes out without informing you.
a. It’s fine
b. I’ll be upset
c. I will be sad because I didn’t go with him/her
2. Someone tells you that your partner is cheating on you.
a. I won’t believe
b. I would start monitoring him/her
c. I would immediately get mad and challenge my partner in public.
3. Your friends invite only your partners to a wedding party.
a. I would be upset with my friends.
b. I will make sure my partner doesn’t go
c. I will make sure my partner attends the party since it is an invitation from my friends.
4. One of your friends needs money urgently and calls you for help
a. I will first ask what the money is for
b. I will give him/her immediately
c. I won’t give him/her at all
5. Your partner asked about your past.
a. You will say the truth
b. You will tell a lie.
c. You won’t be able to say anything
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